


The Worst of them(Kellic)

by ggcool



Category: Pierce the Veil, Sleeping With Sirens
Genre: Death, Hate, Love, M/M, Single Parents, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-02
Updated: 2014-11-16
Packaged: 2018-02-11 09:42:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2063337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ggcool/pseuds/ggcool
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“OPEN THE DOOR KELLIN! KELLIN OPEN THE GOD DAMN DOOR,” he yelled. There was no response. “Vic, kick the door down,” Tyler said. I started to slam my foot against the door. It took me four kicks to break the door down. What I saw will forever be burned into my mind for the rest of my life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hold on Till May

KELLIN'S P.O.V

I paced up and down the hospitals private waiting room. “Kellin will you sit the fuck down already I promise you everything is going to be fine,” Vic said trying to calm me down. I rolled my eyes. ‘How the hell could he expect me to calm down, just a few seconds ago the doctor came out and said that there are some complications with the birth,’ I thought to myself. “Kell, Vic’s right you freaking out isn’t going to help anything, so can you please stop pacing around the room and calm down, “Mike said calmly. They were right me freaking out wasn’t helping anything. I nodded my head, before taking a seat in one of the uncomfortable waiting room chair in-between Oli and Tyler. Tyler put his hand on my knee and gave me one of those 'everything is going to be okay' looks. I nodded my head, hoping that he was right. I looked around the room at all of my family and friends, mostly everyone had a face reassuring smile on their face. Everyone except Katelynne’s father, he had a blank emotionless look on his face.

I tried to stay positive, but I felt scared, anxious, and alone even though there was a room full of people surrounding me. I felt a weird heavy pressure in my chest, if felt like a cinderblock was laying on my chest. It felt as if hours had passed and still no doctors came out into the waiting area. As more time passed more negative thoughts filled my head. ‘What if something happened to the baby? What if the doctor comes out and says that the baby died during birth? What if something bad happened to Katelynne and the baby?’ “Stop it Kellin, stop thinking about bad things happening,” Tyler whispered to me breaking me out of my thoughts. I felt tears start to flood my eyes. “I’m scared Ty,” I whispered to him.

After a long, worried wait, a doctor finally came out. "Mr. Quinn? May I speak to you alone?" I stood, and followed the doctor down a separate hall, walking farther, and father away from Katelynne's room. A short walk brought us to a room I wasn't familiar with, "Excuse me for the words I'm about to say sir." I became a little concerned with his words, "Your loved one, she didn't make it through the birth process, but we managed to save the baby." Tears flooded my eyes, and I fell to my knees. No! This isn't true, it's a lie! He's lying to me! My thoughts screamed. Rage, and dismay flooded over me like a tsunami tide. 

"Sir, would you like to see your daughter?” The doctor asked with sorrow on his tongue. Tears raced down my cheeks, like a never ending water fall; I nodded my head, and forced myself to stand. I followed the doctor into the room, and in a small clear bin, sat a small fussy baby. He picked her up gently, and a laid her softly in my arms. She was so peaceful, and so small. A smile grew on my face, but my tears continued to stream, she was so precious. "What are you going to name her?" I replied with silence for a few moments, before kissing her small forehead, and  
answering happily, "Copeland" 

I walked back down the long hall, towards the waiting room with Copeland still in my arms. Everyone rose from their seats when they saw me.

Bright smiles, and happy comments floated around the room, neither of which made me feel any better. Going home without Katelynne felt different, it was hard. Driving wasn't an option for me, especially with Copeland in the car; Tyler drove all three of us home carefully, and what was supposed to be a day to remember, turned into a day to dread. The car ride was silent, and depressing; parking the car outside my house brought heavy tears to my eyes. Walking into the house was the hardest part, it was so lonely, and quiet. "Kell?” Tyler asked worried. Our eyes met, and the feelings were mutual; he understood better than most.

"I'm going to lay down bro, I just need to rest", I said almost cracking under emotional pressure.  
"Alright, get some sleep, I've got Copeland" I trusted Tyler with Copeland. Trudging up the stairs to our... er... my bed room, I lost it. I closed the door with a light thud, and poured my heart out. The bed that we slept in still had her smell, and her laughter seemed to bounce of the walls. My temper grew, and rage boiled inside me; I punched the wall with force, and the never ending tears finally slowed. I threw pillows, clothes, almost anything I could pick up, but I was careful not to disturb anything of Katelynne's. After my fit of anger, my tears came pouring out, and I crawled into bed. Her side of the bed was empty, and cold; I punched my pillow and screamed into it, "KATELYNNE!" A river of tears came rushing down my face.

I was interrupted by loud pounding on the door. "Kellin, unlock the door," Tyler demanded. "Fuck off," I sobbed. "Kell, I know how you feel, I had the same feeling when my mom died. You feel alone, you think that it’s your fault and there's this aching in your chest that feels like it's never going to go away. Kellin you’re not alone, you have me, Copeland, your mom, dad, Vic, Mike, Oli, Alex, and I'm not even going to waist my time naming the rest of them because there's too much. So can you please open the door before you do something stupid? Cope already lost her mother she can't lose her father too," he said.

Everything that Tyler said was true. I wasn’t alone I had people who loved me, and I couldn’t abandon Copeland, I’m the only parent she has left. I walked over to the door and unlocked it, letting Tyler in. Tyler came rushing in the room. His eyes widened when he saw the state that the room was in. Then he looked me over to make sure that I was alright, before pulling me into his arms, which cause me to breakdown again.

“Shh, it’s ok Kellin,” Tyler said trying to calm my uncontrollable sobs. “I-I miss h-her so much,” I sobbed into his chest. “Shh, I know you do, so do I,” he said. “I c-can’t do i-it on my own, I don’t know how to be a f-father,” I said. “You’re not going to be on your own, Kellin you will never be on your own, and you’re going to be the perfect father,” he said. I stopped sobbing when I heard Copeland crying. “Should I go check on her or do you want to?” Tyler asked me. “I want to,” I said on a small voice. Tyler gave me a kiss on the forehead before letting me go check on her. I slowly made my way to Copeland's room, opening her door carefully, making sure not to frighten her. She must have been hungry, because I couldn't find anything wrong with her, and her bottle seemed to be the key to her serenity. Copeland resembled so much over her mother, but much of me as well. Her small little fingers wrapped around my thumb, and a smile washed over my face. 

After awhile, I couldn't let go of Copeland, and it started getting late. "Hey Kell, imma hit the guest room, I'm tired" Tyler said yawning. I nodded, not looking away from Copeland; everything about her was a treasure. When I finally felt tired, I slowly headed up to my room, taking Copeland with me. The room was in a disaster state, so quickly, I picked up a few things, and made the bed. A part of me wanted to put Copeland in her own bed, but something wouldn't let me; I peeled back the covers, and made my self - and baby Copeland - comfortable. We stayed close together, and slowly, our eyes closed, sending us into a sweet dream of our own.


	2. Breathe me

KELLIN'S P.O.V

*3 days later*

So much has changed since Katelynne died, everything's harder, and too different for myself. I couldn't wrap my mind around her death, I felt conceded; I just couldn't accept it. Her funeral is today, and I think it's the most heart breaking thing I’ll ever have to do. Getting out of bed was a struggle, just like it has been every day; I forced myself to take a shower, and put on my best outfit. Copeland was easy to dress, she looked adorable in anything you put her in, but I still dressed her to the best of my abilities. She looked so adorable; I put her in her car seat, and took her out to the car. I made sure she was securely buckled in before I even thought of starting the car. Copeland smiled at me, and I kissed her forehead.  
"Time to go say goodbye to mommy." Even just thinking about it brought tears to my eyes.

The funeral home was crawling with guest, but in general the whole family was there. It was great to see so many caring people at her funeral, but hearing, "I’m sorry for your loss" one hundred thousand times, didn't make me feel any better. I didn't feel strong enough to go up to see her, but eventually I made myself. She looked so beautiful, just as she did before. Tears whelped in my eyes to see her, I kissed her forehead, and walked away before I broke down again.  
"How you holding up bro?" Vic asked me. "I could be doing better."  
Vic nodded, and played with Copeland, "Can I hold her?" I smiled, and handed Copeland gently to him.  
Vic's phone rang inside his pocket, and he handed Copeland back, "I've gotta take this bro" 

Eventually, Copeland and I said our goodbye's to everyone, and left with the memory of Katelynne in our hearts. As I drove home tears formed in my eyes again, part of me wanted to turn around, and go back, but I knew I couldn't stay with her forever. I need a drink, I thought to myself. Looking in my rear view mirror, I could see a sleeping Copeland. A quick stop never hurt anyone? Did it? My mind was set on it. I pulled over to the liquor shop, and locked the car so Copeland would be safe. I couldn't have spent more than 5 minutes inside, because there was only a few bottles inside the brown paper bag. I gently set the bag in the passenger seat, and drove home carefully. When I reached home, I put Copeland in her crib carefully, making sure not to disturb her sleep. There was nothing to hold me back from my decisions; I grabbed a random bottle from the bag, and downed it.

I had a vast amount of alcohol, before I had no control over what I was doing. It was like a dream. One minute I’m in my room looking at a picture of Katelynne and I, then the next I’m in Copeland’s room with an open bottle of pills in my hand. I walked over to Copeland’s crib, bent down and gave her a kiss on her forehead. “I love you Copeland,” I said, causing her to wake up. I turned around and walked out of her room. “You need to do this, you need to be with Katelynne. You don’t even know how to be a father. Copeland will be better with someone else,” I said to myself. Nothing was going to stop me from doing this. Not even the sound of Copeland wailing was going to stop me from doing this. My heart ached to be with her, I just couldn't do it without her.

I walked into my room and slowly made my way to Katelynne’s side of the bed. I stood there and looked at it for a minute. Memories of her clouded my mind. ‘The first time we met, our first date, the first time we both said I love you’, I started to sob uncontrollably. I slowly sat down on Katelynne’s side of the bed. “W-why d-did you l-leave me. I l-love you so much,” I sobbed. I looked at the bottle of pills in my hand for a second before pouring half of it in the palm of my hand. “I’m gonna see you soon Katelynne,” I whispered. 

__________________________________

VIC'S P.O.V

“What if he did something stupid?” Oil asked. I rolled my eyes. “Kellin’s not an idiot, he knows that Copeland needs him,” I replied. “But, Vic Kellin’s not in his right mind right now he just buried his girlfriend of 3 years the mother of his child, what would you do if that happened to you?” Mike asked me. I knew exactly what I would do. I immediately stood up from Tyler’s couch. “TYLER!” I yelled. Loud footsteps thumped down the stairs. Tyler ran into the living room. “What’s wrong,” he asked me. “We need to go to Kellin’s place right now,” I said. “What’s wrong with Kellin,” Tyler asked concernedly.

“I just wanna check on him, make sure he's okay,” I said. Tyler looked confused for a second before what I was saying dawned on him. He quickly grabbed his car keys from the counter and rushed out the door. “Come one,” I said to Oli and Mike, before running out the door. They quickly followed behind me. We all jumped in the car. Tyler took off speeding down the road. “What the hell is going on,” Oli asked. “I want to know the same thing,” Mike said.

"I'm worried about Kellin,” I said. I really didn’t want to say what Kellin was going to do, because just the thought of it made my chest feel like it was about to explode. “What's going on with Kellin? ,” Oli asked with fear in his voice. I didn’t answer him. “What's wrong with Kellin, Vic?!,” Oli asked me again. I still didn’t say anything. “GODDAMMIT, VIC ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION!” Oli yelled his voice full of rage. “I'm afriad he’s g-gonna hurt himself,” I finally answered, that shut Oli up.

Tyler gripped the steering wheel hard enough for his knuckles turned white. He had a look of pure fear on his face. He looked like he was going to breakdown any second. I could only imagine how he was feeling. His little brother could be dead right now. If anything ever happened to mike I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. The thought of Kellin my best friend being dead made me want to spill all the contents in my stomach. ‘Please god, please let him be ok,’ I thought to myself. “Tyler slow down,” Mike said from the backseat breaking me out of my thoughts. That’s when I noticed that we were twenty passed the speed limit. “Tyler you need to slow down, before we crash,” I said. He didn’t slow down he actually sped up. “Tyler slow down, us dying isn’t gonna help Kellin,” I said as calmly as I could. At the mention of Kellin’s name, Tyler started to slow the car down. Oli let out a heavy sigh. “Thank god,” Mike muttered. I let out a sigh of relief when we stopped in front of Kellin’s house.

No one wasted any time. We all jumped out of the car and ran to the door. Tyler patted his pockets for his keys to the house. “Shit, I don’t have them,” Bang on the door. “Open the fucking door Kellin,” he yelled. There was no reply, I feared for the worst. Oli started to bang on the door again. “You know what fuck this,” I said before pushing everyone out of the way. I kicked the door three times before it cracked open. Tyler pushed me aside and ran in. As soon as I ran inside I was greeted by the sound of Copeland wailing, and the stench of whisky. Tyler ran up the stairs, and we followed him. “Mike, Oli, check on Copeland”, I said.

I ran over to Kellin’s room. Tyler was pounding on the locked door trying to get Kellin to open it. “OPEN THE DOOR KELLIN! KELLIN OPEN THE GOD DAMN DOOR!” He yelled. There was no response. “Vic, kick the door down,” Tyler said. I started to slam my foot against the door. It took me four kicks to break the door down. What I saw will forever be burned into my mind for the rest of my life. There was my best friend, the guy who’s always playing around and keeping the peace, the guy that everyone goes to for advice. There he was shoving pills in his mouth.

I stood there in the door way frozen watching the scene unfold in front of me. Tyler was giving an unwilling Kellin the Heimlich maneuver. The pills came spraying out of Kellin’s mouth. I felt my heart break as I watched Kellin try to break out of Tyler’s grip to get the pills back. The next words out of Kellin mouth made me feel dead inside. “I WAN’T TO DIE, JUST LET ME DIE1" He sobbed. “Vic I need your help,” Tyler said when Kellin started to hit him. I broke out of my frozen state and cautiously made my way over to where they were. I wrapped my arms around Kellin’s waist and pulled him away from Tyler. He smelled like a bar. “Please Vic, Please let me die I need to be with her,” Kellin slurred before passing out in my arms.


	3. Dissappear

KELLIN'S P.O.V

I woke up to a head splitting headache. It felt as if someone shot me in the head. I sat up slowly, because with every movement I made the pain in my head increased. I looked around at my surroundings. I was in Tyler’s bedroom. ‘Why am I in Tyler’s room, How the hell did I get to his house?’ I thought to myself. I had no memory of anything. The last thing I remembered was Katelynne funeral and then it all goes blank. I slowly pushed myself off of Tyler’s bed. I shivered as my bare feet hit the cold wooden floor. I stood up only to have the pain intensify and a spell of dizziness cloud my head. I took a few wobbly steps, before I fell against the wall. “Just a few more steps to the door Kellin,” I said to myself.

I pushed myself off of the wall and made my way to the door which seemed so far away. I was basically jumping for joy when I reached the door. I through the door open, and looked at the long hallway followed by a long set of stairs. I groaned in pain and annoyance. “What the hell did you do to your self Kellin?” I asked myself. It felt like an eternity before I reached the stairs. Just looking at the stairs made bile rise in my throat. I took my time going down the stairs making sure that I didn’t go to fast to make the pain in my head become any worse than it already was. I felt like I had accomplished the most important thing ever when I reached the last step. 

I started walking to the kitchen but stopped when I heard familiar voices. “How could be so stupid!” Tyler shouted. “Tyler calm down your gonna wake cope,” Mike said. “Sorry, it just pisses me off, how he could be so damn selfish,” Tyler spat. ‘Who is Tyler talking about?’ “Tyler’s right what he tried to do was selfish as fuck,” Oli said. “Guys, I get what Kellin did was messed up, but he just lost his girlfriend, the mother of his child,” Vic said. ‘What did I do?’ “But he had no damn right-,” Tyler started to say before I walked in the room and cut him off. “What did I do?” I asked. 

Every head in the room turned in my direction. Tyler and Oli’s faces both held a look of anger. Mikes looked at me with pity and Vic wouldn’t even look me in the eye. “What did I do?” I repeated. Something in Tyler must have snapped because he came over to me and slammed me against the wall. “Tyler calm down,” Vic said. “Fuck off Vic,” Tyler said before shooting Vic an ‘I dare you to stop me look’ Tyler looked at me with a look that could kill. “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!” He yelled him my face. I flinched. “How could you be so damn selfish Kellin,” he spat. I had absolutely no clue what he was talking about.

“You’re the only parent Cope has left, and you decided that your gonna take it away from her,” he said his voice wavering. “What did I do?” I asked. “Don’t play stupid Kellin. You know what you did,” Tyler said. “No I don’t, I have no clue what you’re talking about,” I said calmly. He looked me dead in the eye. His look of anger turned into one of realization. “You really don’t know do you?” I nodded my head. Tyler let out a dark Chuckle. “You fucked up Kellin, you fucked up bad, so bad that I’m taking Copeland to stay with Kay’s parents until you learn not to fuck up,” Tyler said before slamming me against the wall one last time before walking out of the room. 

I felt like my head was about to explode. My eyes filled with tears “What did I do?” I asked. Oli shook his head before grabbing Mike’s arm and pulling him out of the room leaving me alone with Vic. “Why won’t anyone answer my question?” I asked Vic. “You tried to kill yourself,” Vic said before walking out of the room.


	4. Hear You Me

Kellin P.O.V

I fliched as the cup crashed against the wall and exploded into millions of little glass pieces. I didn't know what happened one second the cup was in my hand and then it wasn't. I ran my hand over my face trying to wipe away the tears that were dripping down my face. I ran my hand through my hair as I thought of what just happened a few minutes ago. More tears streamed sown my face at the memory of Tyler takeing Copeland and putting her in his car while Mike and Oli held me back.

I slammed my fist into the kitchen table. I cleanched my eyes shut at the pain. 'How could I be so selfish?' I gave into my moment of weakness and now my daughter's gone. I ruined everything. Everyone who's around me always ends up getting hurt. I felt an excruciating pang in my chest. I grabbed at my chest as the pain started to intensify at the familiar feeling of pain. I knew this pian all to well. I was beginning to have a panic attack. Panic attacks are nothing new to me. It felt as if my throat was starting to close up. I let out short pants for air which soon turned into gasps for air. I felt myself start to get light headed from the lack of oxygen. I slowly staggered back until my baxk hit the wall. 

'Calm down. Calm down. Calm down.' the words ran through my mind over and over and over again. Black spots appeared in my vision. Just as I was about to give into the darkness I felt warm muscular arms wrap around my body. "Kellin you need to calm down," the soothingly familiar male voice whispered in my ear. "Calm down and breath if you calm down everything will be alright," he whispered in my ear while colming his hand through my tangled hair. I felt the pain in my chest get less and less. My throat started to open up and the air came in. I took in as much air as I could. I sighed in relief. I rested my head on the man chest as I tried to get my breathing right again.

"T-thank you," I stuttered out. "Theres no need for you to thank me kell im hear to help." My eyes shot wide open when I figured out who it was. I pulled my head off of his chest and looking into his eyes. Vic's eyes. I felt tears fill my eyes. "I-i'm s-sorry," I said. "Let it out kell." I broke. The tears bursted out of me like a dam that was just broken. I burried my head in his chest once again and sobbed like there was no tomorrow. "I-i'm s-so sorry." I sobbed over and over again.  
~~~~~

 

Vic P.O.V

I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach as I held a sobbing kellin in my arms. I didn't know what would have happened if I didn't come back to check on him. I could have almost lost him again and I would not let that happen again. Kellin is one of my best friend and I refuse to let him destroy himself. I have lost so many friends to suicide and cant lose anymore expecially not Kellin. If he died I dont know what I would. I couldn't handle losing my best friend. I dont know how long Kellin and I sat there on the kitchen floor vut it must have been a real long time because kellin sobs stopped and they were replaced by soft snoring.  
I looked down at him and a small smile came on to my face when I saw how adorable he looked. His face looked softer then if already was. I frowned at the deep bags that were forming under his eyes. 'When was the last time hes had a good night sleep?' I guess with everything thats been going on he hasn't been up for sleeping, and it was only going to get worse since He has to go on tour soon. I slowly and carefully picked kellin up in my arms. I was surprised at how light he felt. It was like he weighed nothing. Without waking him I carefully carried him up the stairs to one of Tyler's guest room. I slowly laid him down and the bed. I smiled as I watched him snuggle up into a pillow. This has been the calmest I've seen him since Kate's death.


End file.
